After celebrating my Dad this past weekend, I had some thoughts. Maybe even a few feelings. Robby Rogers set the bar pretty damn high, as a man and a Father. If I can come within spittin’ distance of him someday, I reckon I’ll have done alright.
I want kids. Someday - that amorphous, nebulous, uncertain future time. Probably not soon, but hopefully, while I can still run and play, and spend summer days throwin’ em’ around the pool.
So I wrote a letter to a fictional kid who may never exist, with the thought that if I live my life in such a way as to raise a good man, well maybe that’s a step in the right direction.
Dear Son,
You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful part of my life. If you don’t take anything else away from this letter, know that you are loved beyond measure.
As you live and grow, you will face uncertainty, fear, and loss.
Praise be. Each challenge will show you more of who you are, and shape who you decide to become.
There is no right or wrong way to walk this world, but your old man, unsurprisingly, has some thoughts.
When you find yourself in a tough position, afraid, stuck, or in pain: rejoice. This is a gift. How wonderful that you get to look a monster in the eye, only to discover it wasn’t even that scary.
The hardest part of doing a hard thing is the decision to do it in the first place. Count to three, and GO. You are stronger than you know, and every trial you put in the rearview gives you greater confidence.
There is ZERO shame in failure. But not to try at all? Those moments will haunt you forever.
Take it from someone who knows.
Select your friends wisely. The people you choose to surround yourself with can be your greatest boon or an anchor around your feet. Find a tribe of doers, thinkers, and lovers full of life and gumption. Be wary of complainers, layabouts, and people who are “too cool” to care.
Once you discover the friends and groups that fill you with light and laughter, be the glue. Invest in those who invest in you and reap the rewards of compounding interest. When you stumble upon people who feel good, life gets a whole lot better.
It may take a while. It took me 30-plus years.
It’s worth it.
Try. Everything.
If you have an itch to scratch, use your nails! Is it dangerous? Good. Is it hard? Better. Does it light you up and give you butterflies? That’s a HELL YES!
What you do with your life is 100% up to you, and you aren’t locked into one thing. While you’re young I encourage you to dip your toe into any pool you’re drawn to. If the water feels good, take a swim. You can always get out and try again, even if drying off in between gets a little harder.
Don’t chase the money, but do be smart. If you’re going to be an artist, go all in and know it will take everything you’ve got and then some.
Love hard.
Pursue. Don’t chase.
Discover connection, explore deeply, and be open to receiving. To love is a most beautiful experience… just be sure to love yourself as well. Know when something isn’t for you and let it go. The heartbreaks will hurt - Lord knows they should.
Remember, every ending holds a new beginning.
Even when it doesn’t feel that way.
Your Grandfather is one of the most badass men I know. The Wall Street Cowboy. He’s a walking contradiction and a textbook study in wearing a mustache well. He rides horses, reads history, loves his family, and continues to surprise me, even today.
I hope I can be half the dad he is.
And while I may never hunt giant Grizzlys or navigate the stock market, I promise I will be in your corner the same way he’s in mine.
You will not always like me. You will not always understand why I do the things I do. You will rarely agree with how I dress. You may even occasionally throw your hands up in frustration, and curse the universe for giving you such an uncool dad.
That’s okay.
I love you. More than you will ever know.
When you need me, I will be there. Period.
I will read to you until you ask me to stop. I will listen to your wild fantasies and encourage you to chase your dreams. I will teach you how to drive, shave, and fish. I will show you where the best tacos are, and make damn sure you can grill a steak.
I will show you what healthy love looks like between two people.
As you grow into a man, I will give you values, work ethic, and the family name.
For you, I will set my own standard higher.
You will never go without, and you will always be loved. This I swear.
I will not be perfect.
But I will be your Father.
I love you, Son.